
"It's the thought that counts!"
A phrase we have heard countless times. Usually associated with gift giving. But let me ask you this....when you say this phrase what is really going through your mind? Would it be fair to say, "I hope this is the right perfume". "I'm not sure if he is in to that team". "I have absolutely no f***ing clue if you will like this".
These my dear are excuses.
Excuses for not having done our research. For not having asked the right questions to get the answers we need.
Often, and I am speaking from a personal level here, I use this phrase when I just wasn't arsed or I forgot and panic set in.
Now I have no intention of writing this as a way of accusing you of being lazy or an incapable gift giver. I just want to explore the feelings that go on when we use this phrase as our go to. We constantly second guess our choices, whether it be something as seemingly trivial as a birthday or Christmas gift or something larger like filling in a job application or asking for that pay rise. We console ourselves with the notion of, "It's the thought that counts".
I had this conversation with my husband today to ask his opinion on the phrase.
He said, "Absolutely, it's the thought that counts!".
I followed up with, "Cool, I was going to cook a steak dinner tonight (his favourite) but feck it! Sure maybe tomorrow, It's the thought that counts".
Well folks can you imagine the response? I'm laughing to myself even as I type this now with the look of terror on his face.
It's safe to say in this instance the "Thought" counted for absolutely nothing.
Interesting how obvious it was to me and my husband now, that this phrase is used for the sole purpose of excuse, or to mask the embarrassment of making a potential mistake (more on mistakes at a later stage).Ponder this for a moment and think of the times you have settled for this well known phrase, very rarely with a positive emotion attached but more so with embarrassment, self-doubt, shame, guilt. So i have now officially made a vow to not use this phrase anymore and to change it in my mind to, "It's taking action that counts". I welcome all comments and discussions on this, my opinion is exactly that, an opinion, it is neither right nor wrong. Let me know your thoughts and how this sits with you.
Serena xxx
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