NO!!!!

Using this two letter word without guilt.

Why is it that we turn in to a flustered mess when it comes to saying no?

Why is it that I felt the need to write a blog post based on using two very simple letters?

The truth is....I struggled with this and still do from time to time. When I have spoken about this with clients, friends and family it appears I am far from alone.

If this doesn't apply to you then who am I to waste your time...say NO, move on and please share your pearls of wisdom below!

Basically, it boils down to boundaries. Have a look at the boundaries or lack of that you have set with family, work colleagues, friends, neighbours.....etc.

How often have you been asked to do something for someone and really it just didn't suit with your plans? Taken on a little too much at work because you want to be seen as helpful and having it all together? Met up with friends or family because you "had to" and not because you particularly wanted to?

The list goes on. We have all done it. Most of us will continue to do it for our entire lives.

Why challenge it?

You are enough!!!

We run around trying to people please as a way of proving our worth and our capabilities.

When will enough be enough for others? More importantly ourselves?

Let's challenge the beliefs we have come to know and are so deeply rooted in our psyche.

Being everywhere for everyone shows your strength and demonstrates your kind hearted nature and how amazing you are.

I'm calling bullsh*t on this!

You are one person and as magnificent as you are you can't be everywhere for everybody. It's not humanly possible. If you find you are the person that runs around for everybody and never says no, ask yourself why you are doing it. How does it serve you? What thanks do you get? I bet you say no to one person in particular, on a daily basis in fact ......YOU!

You don't need to prove yourself by running yourself ragged, chasing your tail to get everything done and falling in to bed at night physically and emotionally drained.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

So how do we change the habits of a lifetime???

Slow and steady wins the race here. I'm not suggesting that we never help anybody ever again or offer to take some weight off of the shoulders of a work colleague or friend. I'm suggesting that we don't neglect ourselves in the process!

How to say NO nicely!!

1. Thanks for thinking of me but I'm so busy. Give me a shout the next time.

2. I'm not the best person for that job but I hope you get sorted.

3. I would love to but today doesn't suit.

4. Let me have a think about it and I'll get back to you.

5. Let's plan it for another time when we have more free time.

6. I've already made plans, next time maybe?

7. Next week is better for me, does it suit you too?

8. I'm doing nothing today, I need a little downtime.

9. I have so much on at the moment I'm not taking on any more.

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS........ 10. Feck off I told ya no!!!!!!

We can look after ourselves without worrying about hurting or offending anybody. It all comes down to how we communicate. It also comes from reaching a place in your life where you are ready to prioritise yourself and your needs. Nothing is set in stone and we have the power to make changes. As subtle as they may seem, the positive impact can be huge!

Hope this has been of some help to read as it served as a great reminder for me writing it.

Lots of love,

Serena xxx